Tom Beal & Mama (Grandma)
Yes, even Tom Beal can feel sad…and thankful at the same time.
After spending precious time with my Grandma today for a Thanksgiving meal, then stopping in to my step-parents for a quick visit I began my journey home when a sad country song came on and it got my mind racing and tears flowing.
I began to reflect on Thanksgiving last year which was supposed to be at my Dad’s house but he cancelled it last minute after not feeling well due to what he thought was diverticulitis. Little did any of us know he would be diagnosed with cancer and dead only 11 days later.
So much can happen in a year. Losing my Dad was one unexpected turn of events of many for the past 12 months. In retrospect I can say that the Napoleon Hill quote below did prove to come true, but it was a rough year in the school of hard knocks no matter how I slice it.
“Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” – Napoleon Hill
Those weren’t comforting words as I lost my Dad, the relationship I thought would be life long with my girlfriend at the time, significant & unexpected revenue reductions to one of my income streams, an excruciatingly painful child custody case (still in progress), the death of my other Grandma (who was like my 2nd mother as my Mom was only 17 when I was born, and Mom passed away in ’07 at 52), plus many other adversities and challenges that had to be dealt with in the past 12 months.
“What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.” – Anonymous
Looking back I am saddened by how some of those events occurred yet can reflect on them all and see how they have helped mold me into a better person, a better father, and a better businessman who makes the most of each day without taking it for granted.
I am literally a new man from who I was only 12 short months ago, and I thought I had everything pretty well figured out back then, but I didn’t know what I didn’t know and life had some lessons in store for me that I would either learn from and adapt to or potentially lose everything.
Settling or playing half speed would not be allowed or tolerated. This was the 4th quarter and the 2 minute warning had begun and I was down and some would count me out. HINT: never count me out. I will and always do come back & win in this game of life. I’m a persistent & resourceful son of a gun who is committed to self betterment, because I made my share of extremely poor choices and wanted to learn from them as to not repeat them.
“Work hard on your job and you’ll earn a living. Work hard on your SELF and you’ll earn a fortune.” – Jim Rohn
Sidenote: Ironically, I heard the news of Jim Rohn, one of my favorite teachers, passing away while en route to the hospital to see my Dad the day prior to him passing away. RIP Jim! Thanks for sharing your wisdom for all of those years & your teachings will live on through your work for generations to come. And of course RIP Dad. You are loved and missed. (See PS below for more on Dad.)
Back to the story. With all these adversities and more piling up, I knew all I could do was dust myself off, smile and handle one thing at a time while being grateful for what I had (to include supportive friends & family). Finally at the end of June and early July I knew I only had one choice, and that was to let it all go and become detached from the outcomes…while doing the best I could each day to take care of one thing after another.
When I say I detached myself from the outcomes here is what I mean. I knew what I wanted and what I didn’t want from each situation and made it clear in my mind to focus solely on what I wanted and take the proper steps I thought would get me from where I was to that desired outcome, and just let the rest take care of itself.
There is only so much I could do each day, and I did my best to do just that all the while knowing the end result would work out just fine and in time I’d see what that looked like. Many times that end result ended up better than the ideal outcome I had envisioned and some are still in progress and are looking to come out desirable as well.
We can only worry about two things: 1) Things we can control and 2) Things we can’t control. Why worry about something that you can control? Just control it as best you can and stop worrying. And it’s ridiculous to worry about something you can’t control as there is nothing you can do to alter it, so stop worrying about it.
Just be the best you can be and do the next most logical thing you can think of to get from where you are to where you want to be while staying focused solely on your ideal outcome, and let the rest fall into place as it may. From my experiences when I do this and let go, the outcome is usually way better than I had ever imagined.
In July I also made a significant choice that I am forever grateful for, as well. That is when I looked in the mirror and was disgusted at the body I saw looking back at me. I barely recognized “me” and knew actions had to occur to remedy this ASAP.
That’s when I decided to eat less & move more then lost 28 pounds in 60 days, and since wrote a report on how I did that at: http://mytransformationsecrets.com due to so many friends asking me how I did it, so they could do it as well.
Not only did my body transform, but my life was brought to a whole new level in all areas. I slept better, had clearer thoughts & more confidence, made better choices, and took better actions in most every aspect of my life.
There are still some of those adversities in progress and I’m taking the next best step I can take that I feel will lead me to that ideal outcome I have pre-determined and know that no matter what happens it will all work out, and most likely even better than I had imagined.
Regardless how any of those outcomes turn out I’ll know I took the steps I could take and will be fine with the outcome.
As with much of my writings, this is a way to hopefully share some insights with you as to how I deal with adversities and challenges that can assist you in dealing with life issues that may arise on occasion…and it’s therapeutic for me by putting these words down. 🙂
“Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems; wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges; wish for wisdom.” – Jim Rohn
Through these past 12 months in retrospect I can now see that I am better, have more skills, and have more wisdom than had I not experienced what I have. Will admit, that it’s been a rough journey and am thankful I’m on the other side of many of those challenges, and am thankful for the peace and clarity I now have in handling the crazy surprises life sometimes throws our way.
“Don’t take life so seriously. None of us make it out of here alive, anyway.” – Anonymous
In the end life just is and I just am. It’s the interpretations we create for the events in our lives and the meanings we place on them that can sometimes get us all twisted up. Through it all I feel it’s most important to get clear on what you want and “Just do it!” as Nike says.
Dream big, then take bold, consistent and persistent action each and every day that brings you one step closer to attaining those end results you have chosen as desirable, while handling one thing at a time. Before you know it you’ll wake up a year later as a whole new you.
Looking back on the past 12 months, I’m a whole new me from who I was then. I liked myself then, and really like myself now. I’m hoping to look back 12 months from now a whole new me as well, since this game of life is a never ending improvement process. We’re either growing or dying. I choose growth. How about you?
Here is one of my all time favorite quotes:
“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now!” Michael Landon US Actor (1936-1991), said in an interview as he was dying of cancer at 55 years old.
Make Today Great!
Tom Beal
PSÂ – You can read my therapeutic writings I felt compelled to draft as my Dad’s cancer was diagnosed and his last days here.
Many people have shared with me how helpful my writings were to them in dealing with loss of a loved one and grief.
PPS – Since it is Thanksgiving here in the US, let me share a few things I am thankful for: my health & wellness, my clarity & focus, my awesome children & family, my supportive & caring friends, and you for taking the time to read this. I’m amazed and thankful for all the “Butterfly Effects” that have occurred such as asking a guy if he was looking for a plug for his laptop at an event in March 2005 and we ended up being friends and business partners to produce huge impact & value over the years & for many more to come. Of course I’m talking about Mike Filsaime and I’m so thankful for his friendship & wisdom. Life is good and it’s only getting better!
PPPS – Please post your comments below. How did this post touch or impact you? What resonated with you? I look forward to hearing from you. (Just all positive feedback, please. Not seeking any pity or a poor me party. We all have issues and problems and I’m fully aware my issues look like a pimple on a butt compared to what some of you are going through. I’m hopeful this post may be helpful to you in some way.)
